“There is an odd synchronicity in the way parallel lives veer to touch one another, change direction, and then come close again and again until they connect and hold for whatever it was that fate intended to happen.”
― Ann Rule
Have you ever experienced a phenomenon in life where everything, not only people but even the situation itself, sides with you?
Don’t worry—this story has nothing to do with religion or spirituality. However, the series of events that recently unfolded in my life defy logical explanation. I can’t quite explain how they happened, but I have a sense of why they did. Confusing, right? Well, here’s my story.
Intro:
Be humble, be kind, and be nice.
By simply practicing these steps, your life will likely be just fine—and this is how I experienced what I call empathetic synchronization.
So, what exactly is empathetic synchronization? Let me explain.
From time to time, I name my personal approaches to life—almost like my own philosophy for navigating challenging times. My previous approach was something I called realistic optimization, a method of achieving goals while adhering to practical constraints. However, it never truly excited me, and I found myself rarely applying it in my daily life.
This time, however, my new approach—empathetic synchronization—completely shifted my perspective. Unlike my previous mindset, this one extended beyond just myself. It involved the people around me, allowing them to support me in difficult situations, often without me even asking. It’s a remarkable phenomenon where people, and even circumstances, seem to align in my favor—as if the universe itself is working with me.
Being trapped in my hell:
Looking back on my life, it always seemed like the bullies won. Whether driven by arrogance, anger, or frustration with their own lives, they took out their misery on me with cruel words—words so cutting that they felt like a denial of my very existence. And, of course, their allies stood by them, because in workplaces and schools alike, it’s always easier to side with those in power.
Hiding behind their illogical defenses and unjust assessments of my abilities, they dismissed my opinions the moment I voiced them, ridiculed my ideas, and magnified my smallest mistakes for their amusement.
At times, I lost hope in both life and humanity. Consumed by anger, I struggled to find peace, feeling as if I were trapped in my own personal hell.
The pain:
If you’ve been following this blog, you know that I started my new Android job last July. At first, everything seemed fine. But this past February, things took a darker turn—yet again, I found myself facing workplace harassment.
Since I can’t reveal his real name, let’s call him Mr. N. He is one of the top engineers on our team and has made significant contributions to our mobile app development. However, there was a major issue with his character—his harsh and insensitive words hurt not only me but occasionally other team members as well. Just like in the toxic workplaces I had endured before, I became his target. He ridiculed my mistakes, no matter how small, and made sure to highlight them for everyone to see.
I thought I had to endure it—just like before. Once again, I saw myself as the weak one, forced to swallow my pride, convince myself that I was wrong and they were right. The weak one who had to suppress my emotions, hide my pain, and pretend everything was fine in front of my colleagues.
I braced myself to relive the same suffering I had endured in the past, convinced that I would have to go through it all over again.
But this time, the story took an unexpected turn.
And this is where empathetic synchronization changed everything.
Be humble and be kind:
Ever since I started this new role last year, I have approached my work with humility and kindness. Of course, things weren’t always perfect—unexpected challenges arose, as they always do. That’s just life. But I’ve learned that you don’t need to pretend to be overly nice, nor do you have to act as if everything is fine when it isn’t. Just be yourself. Be honest about how you feel, the challenges you face, and the way you see things.
And when something moves your heart, don’t hesitate to express appreciation. Gratitude is one of the most powerful keys to navigating life smoothly.
Respect others, for they, too, are fighting their own battles. Appreciate those who take the time to help you. And above all, stay humble—because none of us are almighty.
The section manager:
She was unlike any manager I had ever worked with before. It wasn’t just because she was a woman—it was the way she spent her weekends that truly set her apart.
Last year, during lunch, she told me about her involvement in a volunteer program that supports young adults facing financial difficulties, encouraging them to pursue their dreams and focus on what truly matters in their lives.
“We’re not supposed to dismiss their dreams, no matter what they are,” she explained. “Instead, we’re encouraged to ask them why they are so committed to their dreams and what fuels their passion.”
She also shared how deeply this experience had moved her, and I found myself in awe. It was the first time I had ever met a manager who genuinely dedicated themselves to something so meaningful outside of work.
“To inspire people, you have to move their hearts first,” she told me.
“I’m proud to have a manager like you,” I replied.
She smiled—and then generously treated me to lunch.
The chief engineer:
“Why are you so interested in Android?” That was the question she asked me during my job interview last year.
For many young adults who are typically drawn to sleek, shiny iPhones, an Android enthusiast like myself was somewhat rare—in a good way. And that was how it all began.
She’s younger than me, but age doesn’t define ability. As the chief engineer, she manages both me and the other app developers on our team. Looking back, I can’t recall a single time when she dismissed my opinions or reacted with frustration when I struggled with my assignments.
Instead, she always offered help, patiently asking what was slowing my progress whenever I encountered difficulties. During our one-on-one meetings, I made sure to express my gratitude for her support and kindness.
I’m incredibly proud to have a chief engineer like her. She’s not only a brilliant programmer with exceptional skills but also a leader whose confidence, kindness, humor, and professionalism set her apart.
No matter the challenges, I’ve always been grateful to work under someone like her.
The mentor:
Our team follows a mentor-mentee system, where mentees can reach out to their mentors whenever they have questions. My mentor is much younger than me, yet she is an exceptionally talented programmer.
We also share something in common—we are both bilingual in Japanese and English. But beyond just having a mentor, it feels like having a strong ally—someone who understands different aspects of who I am. When we communicate in English, we reveal deeper parts of our life experiences, creating a unique connection.
Beyond her technical skills, she is always kind to me. Despite her age, she embraces challenges fearlessly and continuously expands her knowledge. I deeply respect her for excelling in a male-dominated tech field, and I never miss an opportunity to express my gratitude for her support and kindness.
The new beginning:
It all started with my mentor.
“I was listening to your conversation with Mr. N. His choice of words was simply unbearable. If you don’t want to report it yourself, I’ll inform the chief engineer about his behavior,” she told me.
“Thank you for your concern. But it’s okay… I can endure it, at least until the end of this project,” I replied.
“Are you sure? Are you really okay with the way he treats you?” she asked.
“I’m okay… but thank you for your concern,” I answered.
But the truth was—I wasn’t okay.
That same day, I made the decision to reach out to the section manager.
The conversation with the section manager:
“I need your honest thoughts about Mr. N. Can you tell me what’s going on?” the section manager asked when I confided in her about my growing anxiety over my current project. Even before I reached out, she had already been concerned about my well-being.
“I have received multiple reports from team members saying that his behavior and choice of words toward you are simply intolerable,” she told me.
I was on the verge of breaking down. So, I told her everything—how, in my previous job, I had endured dehumanizing language that left permanent scars on my heart, and how the thought of facing it all over again with Mr. N terrified me. I admitted that I was simply afraid to work with him.
At the same time, I also expressed my self-doubt, wondering if I somehow deserved this treatment because of my limited experience in Android development.
“Just because your experience with Android is still growing and you struggle to understand his explanations, it doesn’t mean you have to endure his unprofessional and inhumane behavior,” she reassured me.
Throughout our conversation, she offered countless words of encouragement—words that reflected her kindness and genuine care. It felt almost cinematic, as if I were watching a movie. Her words moved me deeply.
The empathetic synchronization:
The next day, the chief engineer joined our conversation.
“I’ve had concerns about his choice of words too,” she admitted.
She and the section manager then discussed ways to separate me from Mr. N. Soon after, they informed me that I could continue working on the project with support from another experienced engineer instead.
The chief engineer handled everything seamlessly. She reassigned roles within the team, and from that moment on, I was freed from those hellish days.
Was this real? Or was I dreaming?
For someone who had endured relentless bullying and harassment throughout my career—and even in school—this was the first time I had experienced empathetic synchronization in action. People around me came together, lifted me out of my trapped situation, and ensured I no longer had to suffer.
There was a time when I was consumed by anger. A time when I endured cruelty and had no choice but to swallow the pain. A time when I was mistreated in front of everyone, yet they still pointed fingers at me.
But this time, they didn’t side with the bully.
Be humble. Be kind. Be appreciative.
When you approach life with gratitude, life responds in kind.
And in that moment, empathetic synchronization revealed its true power.
“To inspire people, you have to move their hearts first.”
Conclusion:
Empathetic synchronization is real. In this particular case, people were observing. Although it may not appear that others are consciously paying attention to conversations around them, they are, in fact, remarkably attuned to them.
The series of events I experienced last month points to an undeniable truth: something within me is shifting, and the course of my life is beginning to turn in a new direction.
A new season, a new year, new people, and a fresh atmosphere—something is indeed changing in my life.