“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West
My life has been a series of twists and turns, from hosting meetups and starting a career in Android development to meeting new people.
Life is strange. When you feel like you’re falling behind, maybe you’re right on time. Especially when you were younger, you likely had no idea what you wanted to do with your life. Me? I’m in my late 30s and still searching for my life’s mission.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know the past three years have been tough. I lost my father, and I went through significant mental struggles. There were moments I thought it would be better to end my own life, and I even wished for the end of the world.
But the world didn’t end. During my darkest days, I encountered toxic people who turned their backs on me and others who revealed their dark sides. However, I never stopped engaging with the world.
Starting with reestablishing my internet connections, I gradually began “Life 2.0.” The year 2021 changed the landscape of my life, revealing who was truly by my side and who wasn’t.
I deleted several former friends from my social network—I didn’t need them. By sharing my experiences on my blog and Facebook, I reconnected with old friends, but it also sparked controversies and cost me some friendships.
Despite it all, I’m still here, living my own life. By re-engaging with people, new connections and passions are emerging.
Moonshots:
When you need a direct answer to a question, you typically seek out the best source. For instance, if you want to learn algebra, it’s best to attend a math class or watch some YouTube tutorials.
I do the same. When I want to learn new features of Android programming, I search on YouTube, Google, and ask my questions on ChatGPT.
However, sometimes in life, when seeking answers to existential questions, you might need to take an indirect path, often referred to as a moonshot.
One of my goals this year is to find a potential partner. I used to rely on dating sites and still do occasionally. But every now and then, as I mentioned, it’s worth taking a moonshot, an indirect way to expose yourself to the world.
One way I do this is by hosting my own meetup events. Joining meetups can help you meet new people and make new connections. However, I prefer organizing unique and unusual events.
As Forrest Gump once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” One of my upcoming meetup events is a visit to Yokohama’s Foreign General Cemetery. I understand that visiting a cemetery isn’t the most conventional way to introduce yourself to new people. But my goal isn’t to be a rock star attracting vast numbers of attendees.
My aim is to connect with those who want to slow down and reflect on life. Life is short, and I’ve realized this more as I’ve reached my late 30s. Visiting a cemetery can help us reevaluate our priorities and values. In our busy modern lives, we rarely have time to slow down.
By hosting such an event, I can share my values with the world. And possibly, I might meet someone who resonates with my views and interests.
Sometimes, you don’t need a direct answer. Just slow down and see where life takes you. Let life happen.
Android career:
For the past couple of years, becoming an Android app developer has been my dream, and now it has come true. While I’m still adjusting to this new job, every moment is exciting in its own way.
I’ve always enjoyed programming with Android Studio at home to build my portfolio, hoping to turn it into my source of income. Now, that hope has become a reality. I use Android Studio at work to develop new features. Though it isn’t extremely busy or challenging yet, I do feel a lot of pressure from the responsibility.
I’m aware that I have a lot of room for improvement, but I truly enjoy what I do. Fortunately, the primary language I use at work is Java, which I have been using for backend development over the past four years, so I’m quite familiar with it.
I hope I can continue to find and nurture my passion.
Stammering:
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, but I have a stammer. I’ve stammered since childhood, particularly on words starting with S, K, and T. For example, I often struggle to pronounce “Toyota.” It might not seem like a big deal, but for those of us who stammer, it’s incredibly challenging. One of the biggest hurdles in my new job is that every Monday, I have to ask each member of the mobile team for their weekly schedule during our daily scrum meetings. It’s a daunting task, but I have to confront my fear.
Last year, for the first time in over a decade, I experienced a few months without stammering. During that time, I was doing well at my job and felt mentally stable. It was a significant victory for me, as I had never experienced such fluency before.
However, as my professional relationships deteriorated, my stammering returned. I even stammered during a meetup event, confusing other attendees and the organizer.
Through my research, I found that many people who stammer don’t do so when they sing, indicating that the issue is often more mental than physical. In my case, mental instability fuels my stammering, showing a clear link between my mental state and my speech.
Sense of humor:
I love a good sense of humor. It’s one of the key ingredients for a happier and more meaningful life. Life can be incredibly dull if we don’t find ways to enjoy it. Personally, growing up watching tons of American sitcoms and dramas helped me develop my sense of humor.
Whether in Japanese or English, I often incorporate humor into my conversations. It not only relaxes the other person but also puts me at ease. Humor keeps the conversation flowing smoothly and catches people off guard in a delightful way. Additionally, since humor requires a certain level of intelligence, it challenges me to use my brain power in a positive way.
Interestingly, a sense of humor sometimes helps reduce my stammering. As I mentioned, it is closely linked to my state of mind.
Reflection by blogging:
Finally, by writing about my current life state on this blog and sharing it with you, I gain new perspectives on my life. Maybe, just maybe, my life is interesting. Or perhaps it’s becoming what I’ve wished for over many years. Reflecting on my life events and what’s been happening allows me to see my life from new angles, and that’s a good thing.