“Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Acheron
At the end of 2023, my Australian friend asked me about my goals for the coming year. At that particular moment, I couldn’t come up with the right answer. But after giving it some thought, I realized that I haven’t been able to pinpoint a specific goal for this year. Instead, I’ve figured out how I want to spend this year and beyond, focusing on the thoughts in my mind.
Intro:
Back in April 2021, I published an original post that represented my thoughts at the time. Fast forward to 2024, my life has undergone a drastic shift, as have my thoughts. Ideas I once clung to as guiding principles have become outdated, and my current mindset has evolved significantly.
Since facing numerous challenges starting in the summer of 2021, I have become more skill-oriented, strategic, and better adapted to reality.
To navigate the complexities and challenges of the world, my evolving thoughts have significantly helped me overcome difficult situations. Here is the updated version of my thoughts on life.
Escape competition through your authenticity:
Through work, social interactions, and family gatherings, I have witnessed and sensed invisible competition. Some people are obsessed with showing off their possessions, and wealth. The ongoing competition in our society doesn’t cease to exist.
Triumph in corporate politics, luxury brand watches, and expensive cars – the list is endless. However, from my perspective, none of these signify a threat to me or hold any real value. What I see are individuals who have ended up chasing the broken promises of older generations.
You see, a shiny Rolex watch doesn’t make you stand out in a crowd. What truly distinguishes you is something money can’t buy – specifically, skills. And it’s through your authenticity that you can always rise above those meaningless competitions.
While everyone else is rushing to buy a limited edition Rolex, consider investing in a Udemy course on the basic algorithms of Machine Learning. While your friends enjoy vacations on a tropical island and share their photos on Instagram, you could post a math Olympiad problem that you’ve solved. And while others at Walmart are thinking about what dinner to cook, you might ponder the next algebra problem you can solve.
Now, do you see my point? Engage in activities that don’t exist in other people’s realities. Be unconventional to adapt yourself to reality. Acquire extraordinary skills to navigate this complicated, yet ordinary life. Someday, you’ll find yourself having escaped from unnecessary competition.
The fixed reality and your flexible potential:
Some people believe that reality is flexible and their potential is fixed, so they try hard to manipulate their circumstances to work in their favor. However, this isn’t the case. The truth is that reality is fixed, and your potential is flexible. You can always update your skills to achieve your dream job if you believe in your ability to enhance your potential through dedicated, long hours of learning strategies.
Our reality isn’t tailored to work in our favor. You might end up feeling depressed, thinking you can’t change your reality. But you can always change your reactions to it. You can always change how you respond to your version of reality.
Don’t like your job? Reskill yourself to be better prepared for a potential job change. Are girls not attracted to you? Get in shape and become the right person – then the right person will arrive naturally.
Life is complicated yet simple. Reality is fixed, but your potential is flexible.
Victims and problem solvers:
No way, I can’t do this. That’s impossible. It’s too hard. It’s too late.
Life can indeed be quite challenging. But what if you could transform those words into their complete opposites? What if you could turn your doubts into a source of energy to tackle your challenges with a positive mindset? It’s all about perspective.
If you and a friend from a completely different background see an elephant in a zoo, despite looking at the same elephant, the image each of you perceives will be different.
Regarding perspectives, I believe there are two types of people: victims and problem solvers. I prefer to be the latter. Instead of viewing things as obstacles, I see them as challenges to overcome.
Consider this hypothetical situation: you walk into a bookstore and accidentally find an algebra book filled with mathematical problems of an unprecedented level of difficulty.
Instead of thinking, “That’s impossible to solve,” ask yourself, “What if I could solve this problem? How can I do it?” Once you start asking these questions, fresh perspectives and innovative approaches emerge in your mind – it’s like discovering a hidden door in your mind, leading to unexpected results.
Don’t be a victim; be a problem solver.
You can dance in the rain while others merely get wet.
Don’t judge a book by its cover:
Everything is in the midst of its process. While Elon Musk frequently dominates the news covers as the richest person in the world (a topic of debate), how his story will end is anyone’s guess.
In my childhood, there were some exceptionally smart kids in my class. They scored high on tests and were my ideals and goals. However, as it turned out, they ended up leading average lives, and my aspirations towards them faded.
On the other hand, some kids from my childhood, who didn’t receive much attention from our teachers, became successful business owners, achieving unparalleled goals.
Life is unpredictable like that.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that money is everything and your worth can’t be solely measured by your wealth – this would contradict what I mentioned earlier.
But the point is, almost everything in our lives is a process, and there’s no final result. For example, an unethical politician who passes away might think they’ve successfully escaped any possible charges, but their family might suffer from investigations into crimes they were involved in, leading to a miserable life.
Everything is in process, and there’s no such thing as a final result as long as the universe exists.
Stay calm and stay cool:
In our lives, we often encounter toxic people. They might behave rudely towards you and even hurl toxic words your way.
When engaging with toxic individuals, it’s important not to show your frustration. Stay cool and calm. Speak confidently and with a calming tone. Logically lay out your thoughts. There’s a reason they became toxic towards you – it might be the envy of your wealth, skills, or something they lack but see in you.
As I mentioned earlier, possessing a skill that no one can take away from you, unlike material possessions, can be your strength. To navigate through life, you might need an inner strength that can intimidate others without resorting to aggression.
Consider Mark Zuckerberg, the co-founder of Meta. He doesn’t show off his wealth or the influence he wields. He wears the same type of t-shirt every day, doesn’t sport Rolex watches, and drives a Honda to blend in with society.
He doesn’t need to show off, because he doesn’t have to.
If you have what it takes to command respect without engaging in unnecessary competitions and conflicts, congratulations, you’ve already won the game.
Gratitudes:
Instead of longing for what you don’t have, focus on appreciating what you do have. When you practice gratitude, people around you will take notice and you can build much stronger relationships with your surroundings.
Gratitude enriches your perspective and can be a great motivator. It not only drives you to achieve your goals but also inspires you to give back to those who have supported you through challenging times.
Gratitude can make a lot of difference in your life.
Happiness:
One of the complexities of life is the realization that chasing happiness can often lead to disappointment. I recognize that perceptions of happiness vary among individuals. However, I believe that happiness is often a byproduct of our actions, not the end goal itself. Reflecting on my approach to life and happiness, I’ve stopped actively pursuing it.
Much like the aforementioned competitions and those involved in them, once you start craving victory in a competition, you might end up being disappointed.
Instead of yearning for happiness and the perfection of your aspirations, try not to control every aspect of your circumstances. Go with the flow, and you may find that happiness emerges naturally as a byproduct of your interactions with others, your actions, and your achievements.
Conclusion:
Zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Instead of focusing on a single tree, try to see the entire forest. While many around you may attempt to manipulate reality in their favor, seek out a hidden door in your mind to achieve something extraordinary, something that no one in your life would expect from you.
I believe one of the most thrilling moments in life is when you surpass others’ expectations of you. Imagine walking into a room where people view you through their limited lens, perceiving you as an average individual with average skills.
But what if you possess an unexpected skill or achievement that astonishes them once revealed?
Every morning, look in the mirror and ask yourself, what if everything goes right for me today?
I repeat, you can dance in the rain while others merely get wet.