I’m exhausted. November 2023 has been a month filled with numerous challenges and obstacles, and a significant portion of my experiences has been emotionally draining.
Challenging interactions with difficult people:
I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve blocked just this year. To mention a couple, three individuals got the boot, and interestingly, two of them were from a social media app called Boo. One turned out to be a scammer who managed to keep up the act of being a real person for five whole months before finally revealing her true colors. She concocted a story about her bank account being hacked, using it as a ploy to try and get her hands on my money.
There was also this Russian guy with a seriously toxic mindset. He consistently bombarded me with mind-boggling toxic messages, sharing all these horrifying experiences from his homeland. According to him, due to his origin, he claimed he wasn’t allowed to open a bank account in the country he was currently living in. He just kept unloading all the darkness he had inside onto me.
And then there’s this final chapter – a woman from Chicago who, believe it or not, developed some kind of affection for me, and she’s well over 50. We initially connected in a Covid-survivors group called Body Politic, in case you’ve been following along and know what that group is about. Since 2021, we’ve been regularly communicating through video calls on Signal, supporting each other.
But things took a strange turn. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but she seemed to have developed some kind of affection towards me. When I hinted that I needed to create some distance, she responded with a disgustingly aggressive message. Thank goodness for the Block feature.
Naturally, I hit the block button instantly, and that marked the end of that peculiar friendship.
Navigating Setbacks – When the Job Change Falls Through:
Despite having some promising opportunities to transition into my dream role as an Android app developer, I faced a setback. Over the past few weeks, I underwent numerous online interviews and coding tests, and unfortunately, I didn’t fare well in most of them. It was a tough pill to swallow, forcing me to confront certain realities.
Confronting these realities also provided valuable insights into my skill set—there’s room for improvement, especially in my overall technical skills. Throughout this year, I celebrated several triumphs, particularly in my job, yet, at times, I found myself heavily relying on my supervisor.
Amidst career struggles, I actively sought opportunities to shift into mobile development. However, the reality I encountered wasn’t what I anticipated. Ageism and my limited professional experience persisted throughout my job-change endeavors, and the entire experience has taken a toll on me.
A fresh start:
I feel like I just need a clean slate, a fresh start. I’m honestly exhausted—tired of it all. Job changes are tough, and forging new friendships has proven to be equally challenging. But here’s the thing I want to emphasize: as long as there’s a will, there’s always a choice. Change is hard, and staying the same is hard—so, pick the one that’s a little less tough.
I have to keep evolving and put in the effort to make some changes. I get that life is tough, and everything else seems incredibly challenging.
But how do I do that? I’m seriously stressed out, and everything feels emotionally draining right now. I never anticipated that life could be this challenging and tough. I need some time, and I’m not in a very happy place in my life at the moment.