“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
As a reminder, I just thought I needed to write this as a message for my future self.
I’m 36 years old and still single. My career situation is a bit complicated. I had always dreamt of a fulfilling software engineering job back in 2019, but it has turned into a relentless race against time with an overwhelming number of tasks, constant pressure, and seemingly endless meetings.
My work-life balance is completely out of whack, and my workload has surged to the point where my manager actually informed me that I can no longer work overtime, which could violate the labor laws.
I’m exhausted. I only realized this as the year 2023 is coming to a close. Throughout my jam-packed work schedule, I can’t help but feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
However, it’s not as if I think I’ve wasted my time. Despite the demands of my job this year, I’ve learned a great deal and forged meaningful connections with new people. Also, I’ve come to appreciate my old friends and the priceless friendships we share.
Here, let me share my thoughts about life and how it might resonate with all of you. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog post by chance, come along with me tonight. Welcome to my world!
Intro:
As I mentioned earlier, I’m getting older. I’m not too old, but I’m certainly not too young. Nevertheless, it’s far too soon to throw in the towel. I understand that life isn’t fair to anybody, and the future remains uncertain. We can’t rewind the clock and revisit the past to fix our bad decisions and regrets or alter the course of life’s events.
But you see, there’s this thing called “reality.” I get it, it might sound a bit scary, and perhaps you wouldn’t be too keen on confronting it, would you?
I feel the same way. I don’t think I have the courage to face reality head-on. But let’s pose this question to ourselves: “Are we victims or problem solvers?”
Personally, I aim to be the latter. Let’s admit it – we all encounter problems, but we can also work on solving them, much like tackling a puzzle together, don’t you think? And wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could find joy in the process of problem-solving as well?
In the midst of darkness, seek out a glimmer of light. If you can’t find one, then you can become the beacon of light and hope. Amateurs dance under the sunlight, whereas experts excel in the rain.
From this point on, let’s dive a little deeper into what we can do to change our perspectives and find some possible solutions, shall we?
Realistic Optimizations:
The idea of Realistic optimization refers to the process of finding the best or most efficient solution to a problem while considering the practical constraints, limitations, and real-world factors that may affect the outcome. It’s about finding a balance between theoretical or ideal solutions and what can be achieved in a given context.
With 8 billion individuals inhabiting our planet, we potentially possess 8 billion distinct interpretations of what constitutes realistic optimization. Despite sharing a common reality, the way each of us perceives the present moment can vary significantly, shaped by our unique experiences and personal ethical principles.
What truly counts is shifting our focus from the realm of daydreams and entering the realm of tangible reality. It’s about identifying our goals and devising concrete strategies to transform our ideas into actionable steps, leveraging our skills, knowledge, experiences, and network to make it happen.
To achieve this, here are some potential steps to steer your lives in a more positive direction, and these are actions I’ve personally taken.
Be a life-long learner:
One of the most effective methods for diminishing worries about the future is to consistently engage in learning and personal growth. Dedicate yourself to acquiring new skills every day, but do it at your own pace, without haste or pressure. The key is to keep evolving daily and see how far you can advance in a year. When you reflect on your journey, you might be pleasantly surprised by the considerable distance you’ve traveled over time.
The age of the Internet and AI:
With a positive mindset, you have the ability to learn just about anything now. We have powerful tools at our disposal, such as YouTube, Udemy, ChatGPT, and Bard. You might have come across the notion of the decline of the middle class, but that’s not the whole story. The technology we have today is redefining what we consider the new middle class. The decision is in your hands.
The art of dancing in the rain:
Ignore the haters. As I mentioned earlier, there are potentially 8 billion unique interpretations of what defines reality, equating to 8 billion distinct viewpoints. Stop seeking others’ approval and, instead, define your own path to happiness. At my age, I’ve finally come to realize that life is much shorter than I once believed. Even during the most challenging moments, fake it until you make it. I understand it’s easier said than done, but you can at least give it a shot—no pressure. Keep that smile on and keep moving forward.
Even in the rain, we can all dance.
Listen carefully and communicate clearly:
Practice active listening. Instead of just hearing words, make an effort to grasp the full message and the underlying context behind what someone is saying. We’re all human, and human beings are complicated. Words alone may not always accurately reflect their true thoughts; there’s often something deeper beneath the surface. Being an active listener is a way to show respect for their thoughts.
Communicate clearly and consistently. Ensure your message reaches the other party and express your thoughts using a wide range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to make the conversation engaging. Even in challenging situations, relish the intricacies of communication and consider it an opportunity to enhance your communication skills. Life is teeming with hidden opportunities; they might not always appear obvious, but they’re there.
Be kind to yourself:
Don’t put yourself with blame for past mistakes. We all have something to deal with, and life isn’t a walk in the park for anyone. Be gentle with yourself, and extend forgiveness and kindness inward. Remember, you’re not defined by your past mistakes. What truly counts is that you’re here with us.
Maintain your mental and physical well-being by engaging in conversations with friends, family, and perhaps professionals like therapists. Regular exercise is also key to sustaining your energy. Once you’ve started looking after yourself, you’ll be better equipped to care for those around you, building an ecosystem for mutual growth and thriving.
Be a beacon of light:
If those around you are stuck in difficulties and grappling with life’s challenges, you can serve as a beacon of light, illustrating a potential path for changing the course of your life in a pleasantly unexpected way. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a conventional approach; instead, it can be a product of out-of-the-box thinking to solve some of life’s complicated puzzles.
You can set a positive example for reshaping the trajectory of your life and demonstrate to your friends how you’ve reached your goals with unconventional methods.
Conclusion:
It’s all about perspective. Take a step back and look at the broader picture. Happiness isn’t a definition imposed by others but a definition you set for yourself. This is a reminder for myself too. We can’t rewrite our past, but we still have time ahead of us to shape the direction of our lives. Always keep in mind, that reality is fixed, but your potential is flexible.