A Wakeup Call – My Take on the Widespread Depression.

“Wake up, live your life and sing the melody of your soul.”
― Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

I’m stuck in a depressive pattern. Over the past few weeks and months, I’ve been on top of the world. My drive to acquire new computing and mathematical skills was practically insatiable, and I couldn’t stop absorbing them. I kept myself incredibly busy every day to maximize my productivity – I simply couldn’t bear to sit still and do my routine tasks. And I relished every minute of it. I loved feeling so productive.

Things, however, took a turn at the beginning of March. Ever since I caught Covid two years ago, I’ve occasionally found myself slipping into paranoid episodes – and this time was no exception. I’ve always had some nagging health concerns, but I’ve been ignoring them. However, when coupled with other career-related worries, these concerns began to snowball. They grew to such an extent that I could no longer ignore them, and I found myself rushing to a clinic for help.

It took a week to get the full results of my doctor’s examination, and the waiting period felt excruciating to me. It was so long that I couldn’t shake off the nagging thought of “what if” – what if it turned out to be a serious illness, what if they discovered something wrong with my health? Unfortunately, my habit of turning to Google for answers only fueled my already significant worries, causing me to experience a minor panic attack. When I searched for information on the disease I was concerned about, I was bombarded with distressing images that made me feel like I was losing my mind. A week later, my doctor resolved all of my health concerns, and I was immensely relieved to receive the news.

There was a time when I felt invincible. I took pride in the path I had chosen and believed I could achieve anything. However, the sudden realization of my own weaknesses and vulnerabilities shattered my confidence and left me feeling disoriented. This realization began to overshadow all of the achievements I had made over the past few years. Doubts started creeping into my mind, and I found myself questioning whether I had been true to myself. Had I chosen the right path? Was I too arrogant? Had I been a good friend to those close to me? My mind was consumed with thoughts of my own behavior, words, and actions toward others.

And I believe I’m not the only one who’s been through similar experiences. Depression is widespread in the modern age. Here, allow me to share my perspective on why so many of us are struggling with depression despite living in an age where we have access to almost anything we desire and an unprecedented amount of information thanks to the Internet.

Too much info, too much toxicity:

As I scroll through my Feedly, a news aggregator app, every morning, which features an extensive array of news articles in both English and Japanese (as I am bilingual), I cannot help but feel a sense of overwhelming despair and anxiety about my future due to the barrage of headlines, especially those related to the global economic slowdown and AI that could potentially replace my job as a programmer any time soon.

We currently live in an era where we have the ability to access an unprecedented amount of news and information from both domestic and international sources. However, this also means that we are often inundated with an overwhelming amount of information on a daily basis.

Furthermore, as I discovered when I googled my health concerns, we are susceptible to being overwhelmed by a deluge of information that surfaces in search results.

“Oh, please, no more!” I silently screamed in my head. It was just too much – way too much. I understand that it’s important to have access to all the information we need to improve our lives, but the sheer volume of it can sometimes be a double-edged sword that negatively impacts our mental health.

I wouldn’t discourage you from conducting online research when you need to find information. However, it’s important to be discerning and not believe everything you read on the internet. Misleading information and advice that doesn’t necessarily apply to your specific situation can be easily found online.

My take on inflation:

While the world may be in the process of recovering from covid, I have reservations about fully trusting what our government tells us. Regardless, it’s clear that the global economy is slowing down, possibly due to the virus becoming endemic, the ongoing Ukraine conflict, or the ripple effects of major bank failures.

The unstoppable rising price is disrupting our economy, but why? Why do we witness the rapid surge in the price? Everything else is becoming expensive and less accessible.

I believe that the factors mentioned above are not the only reasons for global inflation – they are mainly external. In my opinion, the rise of computers and AI is the main cause. Since the release of ChatGPT to the public, those in the tech industry have witnessed its unprecedented power that could potentially change how we interact with the online world. This massive shift, of course, affects the value and price of existing products that could soon become obsolete.

This is simply my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. Nevertheless, if you can identify what might be causing this rapid transformation in the global economy, you can find your way through this chaotic period, right?

Although the 2020s have provided us with numerous reasons to feel down, why not utilize our own hardships and turn them into a source of productivity, ultimately paving the path for a brighter future?

Afterthoughts:

I know we’re living in an ‘unprecedented’ reality. The reality where we have access to an unprecedented amount of info on the Internet. The reality where we are facing an unprecedented number of existential phenomena – endemic, wars, and inflation all at once. And the reality where we’re threatened by AI to replace our jobs.

But still, we have a choice – we always do.

The choice to turn the turmoil into something productive and meaningful. The choice to enjoy the challenges. The choice to make small individual activities that eventually make a global ripple effect.

Just remember – if you don’t enjoy your challenges, you’re not enjoying your life. I know, it’s easier said than done. But this is essentially a reminder to myself as well.

Just like I mentioned earlier, I’m susceptible to all sorts of mental instability. But I know I’m not alone in this. Everyone else is dealing with their own problems.

Life is tough, but it’s also worth living.

Let us begin…