“A thousand moments that I had just taken for granted- mostly because I had assumed that there would be a thousand more.”
― Morgan Matson, Second Chance Summer
Hi, international friends,
It’s been a little while since I last updated this blog. How have you been? Hope you all are doing well. Me? Well, I’ve been through a lot during the past few weeks. Especially, since July 29th, I’ve been not doing very well for my physical condition.
It’s just irony. On July 28th, I had to go to a hospital locates in the very center of Tokyo for my annual health check. The worst part of this story is that Tokyo was (still is) in the midst of the covid seventh wave, and to make matters worse, the whopping national average of covid cases during the week all across Japan marked the highest number in the world. You know, there was a time Japan was praised as the world’s number one economy from the late 80s to the early 90s, known as the bubble economy. But this time, we beat the world for its covid numbers, yay!!
And yes, as you may have already guessed, I got a fever the very next day. And it was the beginning of my two-weeks long battle with these unknown symptoms. Not only was I panicked as always but also was toxically obsessed with the notion – what if? Yeah, right. What if I die?
I already got covid (Delta) last year and my father too. And he passed away a month later since our initial infection. Last summer, I witnessed hell. The hell where I was almost been converted to a Muslim by my former Indonesian friend who obviously took full advantage of my weakness (I know you won’t believe this, but it really happened. If you are interested, you can check my older posts). The hell where I was discriminated against for my covid infection by my former physician who didn’t (and probably still doesn’t) understand what he has done. The hell where I had to face my aunt-in-law whom I haven’t met for more than a decade and enjoyed my tragedy during my dad’s funeral because of her inner hatred for my family. And they are just the tip of the iceberg. There were tons of many other horrible and inhumane experiences I had to deal with.
So, long story short, I have a morbid fear of covid. I’m not only terrified of the covid itself, but also the current consensus among people that covid is just another flu, which scientifically is quite misunderstood, considering its undeniably risky damages that may affect our bodies for a long term. Anyways, I was horribly panicked when I got a fever and other covid-like symptoms.
My PCR test result, which I took a few days later after my first episode of fever, turned out to be negative. But according to one of my American friends who is a member of Body Politic, a global covid survivors group, told me that the PCR test could miss newer covid variants, like the BA5. So, the point is that I couldn’t embrace the test result with open arms. There was nooneI could trust, even doctors.
Ever since then, my physical health has been experiencing ups and downs, but mostly downs. My heart rate has been unstable, and I lost a certain amount of my muscle again. And since we were still in the middle of the seventh wave, I was not sure about going to see a doctor, despite my fear of what is going on in my body. Due to the rapid rise of the cases, all hospitals across greater Tokyo already reached their full capacity, so there always was a potential risk of catching covid there.
But still, at least, there was something I was able to concentrate on even during the challenging time. That’s programming. I love Android, and I’ve been working on my own Android app project that served as my year-long portfolio which hopefully will attract my future employers. For the past 2,5 years, I’ve been working as a Java developer, and my current goal is to be an app developer for the Google-owned mobile OS. It’s really fun and enjoyed my journey to create my original app that’s supposed to be released on the Play Store at least by the end of this year.
Additionally, if it were not for my friends who gave me unconditional support during my worst days, I wouldn’t;t probably get through this. I’d like to take this opportunity to show my gratitude for them. Thank you.
Lastly, hope things will turn out well for all of you too. This is a very challenging time and the future is quite uncertain. Still, just remember this mantra: As long as we breathe, we can hope.
I know this is an unusual summer, but just make the best of it if you can.
Let’s fight for our happiness.
