“Not all those who wander are lost.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Albert Einstein famously wrote, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” I’ve been this fish ever since I graduated from college in the US.
Thanks to my bad decisions and many failures over the course of my career during the 2010s, I switched between several workplaces. But I never found a place I felt I could belong to. A big chunk of my regret is that I spent the final years of my 20s struggling to find myself.
I should have challenged myself to try to cross as many off my life bucket list that I could do only in my 20s. But I didn’t. I was heavily insecure and ended up being comfortable in my comfort zone.
During those days, I, however, started to grow my passion towards programming, believing that by doing so I could finally no longer be the fish trying to climb a tree, bringing myself on the right track.
A few months before the beginning of the global pandemic, I switched my career to the software developer. Everyone deserves a new beginning, right? My first week as a software developer, however, made me realize that I was still the fish. I was suffering from an inferiority complex to my colleagues. Their technological conversations were all Greek to me thanks to lack of my experience.
But at least I survived a year as a programmer. However, this year gives me new challenges. One of the hardest parts of my position is the relationship with my colleagues and my supervisor. Anywhere in the world, human interactions could be the hardest part. Also, these programming skills require years of experience and intuitions, and I still have a rocky road ahead to achieve my goal.
Despite those challenges, all I can do for now is to have faith in my journey. I won’t end up working in the current company forever. This is just a stepping stone to greater things. One of my life’s missions is to equip myself with the skill to work without borders. I understand that it is highly difficult considering the current global pandemic. But once we could see a light at the end of the tunnel, that would be the moment to move forward into the next step of our life.
Think like this. No one wins at chess just by moving forward. Sometimes, you need to move backward to put yourself into a position where you wait for the right moment to move forward again. And it could be a good metaphor for how your life works too, isn’t it? This is just a time to work on what you can do, waiting for your flowers to start to bloom again.
You may not be able to control everything. But at least you can control how you respond to your life. All you can do is to do your best and control the elements you can control and let it be. Then a chance may present itself, and you may know the next step that needs to be taken.
Again, have faith in your journey. I’m also in the middle of my turbulent life. Am I going to end up being the fish trying to climb the tree? Or will I be the fish that finds a river, swimming to the blue ocean where no one has ever been before? That’s anybody’s guess. But as long as we breathe, we can hope, dream and do our best to achieve what we want in life. Let’s fight for our happiness and see how it turns out in five years. When we look back, we hope we will see all those flowers blooming from our footsteps.
So, let us begin again…
Here are some shots I photographed and edited in September 2011.
