“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
We’re at the very end of October. I know that this year has been extraordinary in many ways, but we made it to this point. We have only two more months until the end of 2020. How will you spend the renaming of this year?
Before moving on to today’s topic, let’s think about our state of mind this year. Since the coronavirus pandemic drove our lives online, we spent more hours online than ever before. As I’m working from home every single day, my daily cycle is like this: roll out of bed and check my phone and write a morning journal. Open up my work laptop and check emails on Outlook and messages on Microsoft Teams. Start coding on the laptop and join a virtual meeting. Check Facebook timeline and read the news on Feedly during a lunch break. Buy some goods on Amazon. Binge on Netflix at night. Just like everyone else who is in the WFH situation, this is my daily routine.
Just like everyone else this year, I have spent more time online than offline. Having said that, what I now worry about is the impact of online abuse on our state of mind. When I scroll through Facebook and Twitter feed, I notice some hate speech and strong words that criticize others with whom they disagree with. Political views, racial issues, and the list go on. The comment section of political posts or tweets is overflown by hundreds and thousands of comments that criticize each other. It’s definitely not a pleasant experience to immerse ourselves in the world of online abuse. Of course, they have been just like that even in the pre-coronavirus normal, though.
Not only do we face online abuses on personal SNS, but we also face them in our work-life as well. Personally, it’s way better to work online than offline when it comes to my working condition. But still. it’s always difficult to cope with my supervisor and colleagues online. One of the difficulties I face during a virtual meeting is the fact that it’s limited to audio. Unlike in-person meetings where body language, tone of voice, pacing, and gestures add to my words, all I have is just my voice. That situation worsens my already severe anxiety worse.
So, here comes to my main point of today (I’m sorry that my preface was a little too long). Even though we can’t see each other as easily as before, we still have a chance to talk virtually. Because this could be a turning point of how humanity should organize our world, I really hope we take advantage of this opportunity to re-think kindness, especially how we treat each other. Here are some reminders of kindness.
When we treat each other with respect and care, we breathe new life into each other. Our friendships and relationships grow wiser and stronger with frequent attentions. So, my close friends always remind me of how important it is to give someone else the gift of you: your time, undivided attention, and kindness. As it has been said, kindness always makes a difference.
In case you face some difficulty to cope with someone with whom you disagree, it might be a chance of learning the beauty of different ideas and perspectives. Even if it overwhelms your pride and open your eyes beyond what’s comfortable, sometimes it’s worth giving them a listen. And despite those differences in perspectives, always remind yourself of the fact that you have an ability to show them how awesome they are, just the way they are. While you have a chance to act on the ability, don’t hesitate to use it.
And as I’m a citizen of a free world, we need to remind ourselves of the very essence of freedom of speech. While we have the ability to abuse others by using the excuse of freedom of speech, we can understand each other through healthy debate. The very essence of freedom of speech reminds us of the fact that it guarantees healthy relationships and human interactions if we use it in the right way.
Lastly, I have to point out how important it is to give someone genuine praise whenever possible. When it comes to Facebook feed or my personal interactions with my supervisor or colleagues, my surroundings are overflown with words to show how small they are. But think about it for a moment. Why can’t we just praise someone for their small actions and appreciate how amazing they are, just the way they are? It could be a priceless investment that doesn’t cost you a thing, and returns could be astonishing! Why can’t we just empower someone and let them spend the rest of their day comfortable instead of bullying them into silence? When you start showing kindness to others, they will start cheering for you too.
Finally, I’m not perfect or perfectible. I have spent a miraculously imperfect life and am still struggling in every possible way. Sometimes, I hurt someone’s feelings with my careless words. Sometimes, I hesitated to give someone a hand even though I had a chance to do so. I have so many regrets. But at least, I want to make myself a better person, so what I wrote above is also a reminder to myself. Anyway, thank you for reading this essay up until this point. I’m grateful for having a reader like you and hope we can make this world a better place with our small actions and kindness.
Here are some shots of Android and Damboo figures I photographed with my Canon DSLR.
