How to deal with the past

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect
-and I don’t live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers…
make sure your hands are clean!”
― Bob Marley

The above quote from Bob Marley is what I’ve always wanted to tell my enemies from the past if I could have a chance. But the truth is that the chance will NEVER happen because none of us is capable of turning the clock back, and all we have is the way ahead of us: more precisely the present and the future.

Some say “forget it and move on”, “you don’t wanna waste your time on little things”,  “life is too short to be little”. Yeah, they’re maybe right. That’s very logical. But the point is that what is logically right isn’t always applicable to problems we face, such as the past issues. We’re a human being. Studies proved the fact that the most of our actions are driven by our emotions, which heavily influence how we interact with others as well. And that is probably why we occasionally struggle with inner contradictions; what we think and what we actually say doesn’t match sometimes. Would you agree with me?

Why do we afraid of suffering from the past issues?

One of my answers to the above question is that we never win this inner argument. What’s done is done, and it’s unchangeable. You can’t pretend as if anything ever happened to you, especially after a traumatic experience; we’re not that strong. When I think about my own experiences, I have been through a lot over the course of my life. In spite of the fact that I have the countless number of sweet memories, I occasionally remember bad ones. And one of the reasons behind this psychology, as I see it, is that it’s easier to immerse myself in the past and think how I felt back then than to deal with the reality I have to face right now. Also, it’s rather addictive to let myself lost in the ideal version of the past as a corrective to the present. But none of us is capable of turning the clock back.

How to deal with the past, present and the future

Do I want to go back in time? Maybe, but I’d say no. Think about all the other achievements you have ever got during the past few months or weeks. Think about all those priceless experiences you have ever gained not in spite of your past issues but because of them? My mom used to tell me: “Even if you have the ability to travel back in time, you would act exactly the same as you have done before. All you have is just NOW. Act now and build your future which you desire to live in”.

Summery

So, this article is written based on my personal experiences. Maybe how to deal with your past issues and how you see your future may be wholly different from my own. And that’s okay. Everyone has his/her own experiences, and my thoughts may not be applicable. I just hope this article can be of your help if you’re suffering from your past issues. Have a nice day from Tokyo!